Letters to mayoralty candidates: in response to mhjb

Picture taken from stuff.co.nz - the worlds best 'I don't know if I am a tabloid or a newspaper website' website

1. Dear Kerry P

I seem happy enough with the direction Wgtn is heading, so don't see a need for change. Thank you for your vision to complete the byepass and tidy up the scum that was upper cuba street. It makes me proud to live in Te Aro. And surely the fact that R@dio Active only mention that it has been a failure twice a week means that it has been a raging success. It has also been endorsed by my colleague Tim Sterne. I can now use the awesome bike lane to ride from New World Chaffers without being hit by one of a thousand crossing cars. And while I don't particularly like property developers like your husband, people in a rising population have to live somewhere, and living close to the city is all good. I don't think Wellington downtown has the risk of turning into bathroom sized studios. That said, I think the carving up of Brooklyn Hill into cardboard boxes is despicable. Also, if more 'Centers of Excellence' means more Creative HQ's, then I am all for that - seems to discourage the draining of brains. From your secret admirer.

2. Dear Ray Ahipene-Mercer

Despite the fact that getting people to 'work together' is probably the most meaningless election statement one could dream up, I respect the fact that you are a Luthier and don't seem to have an ego like the other 9. However, I feel the 5-6 syllable last name is counting against you. Mind you, the Wellington Chamber of Commerce rated you as the 2nd most business friendly candidate, so you must have said something that someone liked. Cheers

3. Dear Mr Pepperell

Judging by the size of you in the photo on your billboards, you obviously have a love for food. I noticed on your website you enjoy riding bikes - Ill believe that when I see it. I support your focus on energy conscious housing, and a car-less inner-city precinct (but you probably stole that idea from my wife). Despite being center left, it is hard to find someone on the right who isn't a prat, so I reluctantly vote for you as number 3. As for your commitment to delivering lower rates - I have heard that under you it would be the opposite. However, the main reason you are not my number 2 is that you were against the south coast aquarium. WOW, because the alternative of leaving Te Rae Kai Hau Point as an undeveloped gravel pit is just so attractive and useful to the public.

4. Rob Goulden

Hi Rob. You are clearly someone who is challenged by the local <-> strategic distinction dichotomy dilemma. You want to continue to control weed and pest control, which is a great thing (I was disturbed at how Aro Valley is pillaged by Wandering Jews), but only an idiot wouldn't want to do that. Oh oh, you want to continue to spend on 'infrastructure' - that is going to ruffle some dreadlocks, and when you say that we have the best public transport system in NZ, is that an excuse not to invest more in it? I don't seem to use public transport at all, but after being convinced by mhjb, I shouldn't just vote for things that make benefit myself. Supporting programs for youth, great, but who doesn't... hmmm, Rob, you sound pretty run-of-the-mill, but maybe that is why I don't object to you, and why you are number 4. Regards.

More to come, time for work